I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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