Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
pray to the hookup gods
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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