So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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