we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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