So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
