HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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