reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
