she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
