So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
