Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
