At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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