He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
