I have demons in me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
