Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
