oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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