It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
