...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
