That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
