careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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