um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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