Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
