please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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