wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
