ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
