Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize