I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He did a backflip because drugs
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
