Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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