Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
