Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
