She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
