HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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