This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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