He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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