What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
