They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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