I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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