Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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