i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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