And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
