You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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