it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
