Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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