I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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