you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize