So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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