I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
