I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
