Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize