I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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