I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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