real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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