Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
its liver damage thursday
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
