I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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