dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize