they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
