Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
