I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
