Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
