And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
