Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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