so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
