Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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