week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize