Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
