I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
